Saturday, December 11, 2010

Stuntin' for two. . . .

Last week I saw a young lady wearing something a tad bit on the "sexy" side, I really didn't think much of it but something caught my eye. She looked like she MAY have been pregnant. She did have one of those huge hand bags so I really couldn't tell.

Yesterday, I saw the same girl. . . this time without a handbag. She was in fact pregnant and not just pregnant, but REALLY pregnant. Wearing a really scandalous outfit (in my opinion). Low cut black sweater,one of the really long sweaters that goes to the knees, but she has a baby belly so it didn't go down as far. Black leggings, and because I'm not good at judging heel length, I'm going to say 4 inch heels. She was really walking around like "look at me, I'm sexy".

I'm not upset at wanting to be sexy at a point in your life that you may not feel as sexy. I'm all for embracing the fact that your pregnant and that in itself is a beautiful thing. I'm upset that she was walking around with a gang of friends that did NOT tell her that you could see her underwear through her pants! Also at the fact that she did NOT take into account that that may happen.

Be happy, feel sexy, but remember your about to be some little persons parent.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Michael Vick

I'm NOT going to talk about Mike and his football skills(he is beating it up right now). I'm going to talk about a comment that was made, and the weird-ness of it.

Last week I was running late for work but I needed to shave because I looked like a lumberjack. on my way to work I noticed that I had missed a spot right under my lip, decent sized patch of hair. when I got to work, I was debating on going to go get a pack of razors just to get the patch, but it was suggested to me just to go to the salon to see if they would get it for me. GREAT IDEA. As one of the salon girls past I got her attention, explained the situation to her and she said she could help me out, GREAT. she was on her lunch so I gave her a little time before I decided to stop by. I stopped in a few times but she was busy with paying customers so, I went back to work. The last time I stopped in, an older lady(we will call her Sherry) informed me that the young lady that I had talked to earlier left for the day. Sherry then asked what she could help me with, I explained and she said she would do it. GREAT!

Here is where it gets a tad bit funny. Just to let you know a little bit about Sherry. Sherry is an older(60-65 year old) white lady, about 5'5", dresses nice and has a "Get'um girl" 2K10 hairstyle. Also has the thickest pair of reading glasses ever, hanging around her neck. You know the kind that sit at the end of your nose and you have to tilt your head up to read everything! So Anyway, I sit in her chair and she ask " so what are we doing here", ummm prolly what we just talked about 2 minutes ago but I entertained her. " well, I just missed a patch of hair". Sherry ask "Are we keeping this all even". Again, I shave my face clean except for a chin strap beard. I reply " umm, I mean, I guess so". she says " OK, I see what we are doing here",GREAT! First, thing she says after that is " I love your hair, how long would it be if you took it out". I respond with the normal, I can't take it out. Then she ask " how do you wash it?". My first instinct was to think of the most crazy thing I could i.e. juices and berries, egg whites, and or goat milk, but I didn't. I answered honestly cause she obviously was just curious. Sherry then ask me if I'm from this area, then ask about my job. You know the normal, get to know you questions. I ask the same questions back, but her answers are completely aimed towards connecting with me!

she tells me she is from a Vermont, and she has been cutting hair for 41 years. I answer with "Wow, that's great. takes some skill to keep up with a changing industry". Then she says this . . .. "Yea, I have cut black people's hair before". WHAT?!? I nod to acknowledge. At this point I know your probably like. Damn how long was he there? She decided to line up my whole beard and sideburns. At the same time I notice her hand a tad bit shaky as she is around my mouth with the razor. Also she is asking me questions like I can really answer her. Anywho. . . she then ask " Do you have any kids". I say " No, I have a dog". Sherry ask what kind. I tell her a Pitbull, she then says " ohhhh, Like Michael Vick", WTF!!! Sherry then begins to back pedal better then MJ could moon walk! she explains that she didn't mean "the bad thing", just the fact that he likes dogs. YEA, HE LIKES THEM TO FIGHT! come on sherry! Sherry also decided to inform me that her favorite football players are Michael Vick, Big Ben and Randy Moss??? OK lady, a convicted felon, Mr. "shhhh it's OK" and Randy "I will run you over police lady" Moss. At this point I just want this to be over, but I have noticed that she has pretty much shaved my whole face, EXCEPT the part we had initially talked about. Remember, I shaved this morning but missed a spot, this is my second FULL shave of the day! Sherry then says we are done, still no cutting of the hair under my lip but then stops me and say " uhhhh I almost forgot", quick two second shave of the patch and she is done. FINALLY!

As I get out of the chair, I ask her. . . . " How much do I owe you?". she tells me it's on the house because. . . ready for this. . . . ." I need to get back into the swing of things, you know. It has been a while since I have cut a black persons hair". . .. .REALLY. . .REALLY. . . you just lined up my beard! Is my facial hair that different from R.J. Redneck or Charlie Corperate? Even with the boardline comments, also I can completely understand that she just wanted to connect with me! I couldn't go with out paying her, so I asked her if i could get her a soft pretzel, she agreed.

Later that day I saw sherry out on her break. I waved, she looked at me winked, then said "Same time next week?"

I THINK NOT!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Here we are a year later. . . .

Here we are a year later and I have only had two post, NOT GOOD. I am on a mission to blog at least everyday. so here is my new thing.

WHAT THE H IS UP WITH ALL THESE SKINNY JEANS? I try not to go to the mall or be in public places like that but recently I have found myself in that environment more often. I have come to the conclusion that SKINNY jeans are NOT for EVERYONE. How about we do some "if, than" work here for females and males.

LADIES:

1. If you are built like your father and he is built like an NFL lineman, than SKINNY JEANS aren't for you.

2. If you have a boyish figure regular jeans, than SKINNY JEANS will fit you worse!

3. If your are skinny as a rail, than SKINNY JEANS aren't for you!

Men:

1. If I have to have a male section, then SKINNY JEANS aren't for you!

2. If you are a 40/29 regular jeans, than SKINNY JEANS aren't for your oversized a$$, I don't care how many of your 29/29 jean wearing friends have them on!

3. if you are a man, TAKE YOUR SKINNY JEANS OFF, your a man with man parts!

in conclusion, take my guidelines and move foward with your life. if you are offended by this post, you in fact know that one of my guidelines is for you and you know you shouldn't have them on in the first place!

Be easy!